Sarah at Stanislaus: CSU can't do better?

"Due to severe state budget cuts imposed upon the CSU, most administrative offices at California State University, Stanislaus will be closed on the dates listed below in observance of mandatory, unpaid furlough days.
"Students are advised to consult with their instructors concerning the impact of faculty furlough days on specific course meeting dates. Unless the students in a particular course are told otherwise, they should assume that most courses will be meeting according to the published schedule."

These words on the CSU Stanislaus website would lead one to believe that the school, like so many institutions in my native state, is in dire straits. But now, in one of the last gasps of investigative journalism yet alive in this country, one particular CSUS student ignored Furlough Friday, and did some dumpster diving. What she came up with was a copy of a contract related to the school's upcoming 50th anniversary celebration. The contract was with scheduled speaker Sarah Palin.

Just prior to the discovery of the documents, state Senator Leland Yee had quizzed school representatives about the school's expenditures in bringing Ms. Palin to campus. The school denies spending any money on Ms. Palin's visit. Needless to say, Sen. Yee now has a few more questions for the school, and California Attorney General Jerry Brown is going to do a little checking into this, as well. But Matt Swanson, president of the CSU Stanislaus Foundation, has assured those concerned that "We're not only using no state money, we're not even using existing foundation dollars."

Yeah, Matt, maybe. But it just looks bad.

The school has been slashing funding for things related to their primary purpose: education. The CSUS website notes that if alumni or other supporters want to make a donation to help "continue the CSU Stanislaus tradition of quality education and personal attention," they should make their check out to "California State University, Stanislaus Foundation." So Mr. Swanson wants to reassure us that any such donations, including the $500 per plate tab for the upcoming event, will continue to support the school's vital mission by funding Ms. Palin's $100,000 (minimum) speaking fee, a private jet, and bendy straws (not kidding!). In other words, the Foundation thinks it fitting to hire for this celebration of higher education a speaker who is famous for her lack of curiosity, proud of her insatiable appetite for not reading, and who as a student herself quit four colleges. Now that's alumni money well-spent!

But really, CSU Stanislaus Foundation, is this the best you can do? There are no California native daughters - or at least transplants - whose connection to California might make their presence a little more meaningful, maybe even a little more consistent with intellectual excellence? Sally Ride? Maria Shriver? Condeleeza Rice? Tracy Caldwell Dyson? (Dr. Dyson might even have some killer PowerPoint slides from her trip to the International Space Station!) Even if every one of them commanded their own hefty speaker's fee, I'm sure each has something more profound to read off the palm of her hand than "Don't Retreat... RELOAD!"

I am very concerned about the future of education in this country, and its impact on the future of the country itself. Ironically, my stepson and his family, including those citizens of the future that are my grandchildren, live right down the street from the CSU Stanislaus campus. So while I am distressed over history textbooks in Texas, dismayed about the lost art of critical thinking, and downright sad about the state of literacy in general (Rnt U?), I have an especially finely-honed radar concerning things that might impact those two particular kids in Turlock. So I have to ask myself: Should it come to pass that Ms. Palin does do a turn at the CSUS podium, what will she say? Maybe she can be an inspiration for the future generations of CSU students. Just think of what she could teach them:

• If you don't like your job, you can always quit.
• If you don't like what people are saying about you, call them names.
• You can score points as a pundit by blaming the other party for the problems your own party has caused (the political equivalent of "I know you are, but what am I?").
• Once you get your own TV show, if you can't get interviews with big stars, just make believe you interviewed them (oh, and edit, edit, edit!).
• If you don't like that people are accusing you of things like misappropriating funds, using your children as political props, and outright lying in your "auto"biography, change the subject to something that can't be refuted because it is sheer nonsense.
• When inevitably someone points out that what you said is sheer nonsense, or worse yet calls you out for being just plain wrong, say that you were misunderstood.
• If the above does not work, then foment violence (and then be prepared to repeat that you were misunderstood).
• Above all, wear tight clothes, high heels, higher hair, and leathah!

OK, not so much inspiration as sensation. I propose that instead of Ms. Palin, why not give $100,000 to CSU Stanislaus student Alicia Lewis, who discovered the dumpster documents and brought them to light? Then she might actually be able to finish college, and do something truly inspirational.