Last week, George W. Bush waved his official Bye Bye to all of us UnDeciders. What strikes me most about Bush’s farewell address is that it seems to be a plea to the American people to like him, even just a little bit. Because, as we've all been told time and again over the past eight years, it is all about the W.
He’s had a grand old time in office. Oh, yes, there was that 9/11 thing, but "This has been a joyous experience being the President.” When I heard that, it sounded to me like a kid saying that it was a lot of fun riding in the fire truck and ringing the bell. I got to be a fireman! I got to be President! Yippee!!
Oh, it's not all been fun. Oh, well, mostly it has. When asked in 2006 whether he was frustrated about the course of events in Iraq, he answered “Sometimes I'm frustrated. Rarely surprised. Sometimes I'm happy,” followed by, ah, “but war is not a time of joy.” No, not for most of us. Some high-profile media outlets edited out the happy talk from that sound bite. (CBS, NBC, I’m looking at you...)
And Bush has spoken of how grateful he is for the families of fallen soldiers. Because they make him feel better. How very sweet.
So in his farewell address, Bush’s vision remained firmly affixed on the reflection in the pool. “While our nation is safer than it was seven years ago, the gravest threat to our people remains another terrorist attack.” Really? What world do you live in, W? If you measure “gravest threat” by those things that loom largest for most of us - things Bush has never personally had to worry about - we are not safer. The gravest threat to most of us is more likely food poisoning from an ineffective USDA, or the side effects of a new drug fast-tracked by a bought-and-paid-for FDA, than a terrorist attack. How about the loss of a job, or health care, or both? Half a million Americans will die in a single year from cancer, far more than have ever died from terrorism. That's pretty grave. What do you suppose the National Cancer Institute could do with the War on Terror’s annual budget of $370 billion? But for Bush, never mind any of that. He’s the Decider. So terrorism is not just a threat. It’s not even just a grave threat. It is “the gravest threat,” because that’s the only way he’ll have any kind of legacy worthy of a Presidential Library.
Bush further reflected that “Like all who have held this office before me, I have experienced setbacks.” “I have experienced setbacks.” Not “we as a nation,” or even just “we.” “I.” That message has always been clear: “This is my Administration, not yours. You just sit back and think about your next shopping trip.”
But mostly he wanted us to know that his intentions were - well - intentional. “You may not agree with some of the tough decisions I have made. But I hope you can agree that I was willing to make the tough decisions.” He wants us to appreciate that he was willing... to... do... what? What does “willing to make the tough decisions” mean? What the Hell does being President mean, if not a willingness to make the tough decisions? Isn’t that an entry level requirement for the job? So he’s saying “I hope you can agree that I was willing to be President.” Yes, George, I have to agree with you on that. And I’m willing to drive the fire truck and ring the bell, but that does not make me a fireman.
Finally, W wrapped up his self-congratulatory monolog with a touch of plagiarism (thank you, Ronald Reagan): “And I will always be honored to carry a title that means more to me than any other - citizen of the United States of America.”
And we will be honored to let you return to that status. Not to mention quite relieved.
